It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize