I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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