be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
