We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
