He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
