you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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