so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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