So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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