Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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