did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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