i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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