We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
