just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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