You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
