What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
