I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
