If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize