i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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