thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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