Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
