Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
