Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
