I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize