My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
