Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
