does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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