My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
