is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
