Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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