guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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