dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
