i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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