It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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