Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
