he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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