I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she pinky promised me she was 18
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Randomize
