I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize