I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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