Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
