I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The maid of honor just puked.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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