I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
