Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
