I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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