i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
