We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
