somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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