Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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