She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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