His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
