No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
