are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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