I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
