then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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