I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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