hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
