So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
