no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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