What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
