I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
