my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
