belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
