Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
