so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
