I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
